SEN Schumer's NO WALK LIST

AbsurbNewsNetwork.con:

WASHINGTON: SEN Chuck Schumer (D-NY) will announce this week in conjunction with officials at the Office of Homelessland Security a new plan to keep America safe called the NO WALK LIST.  Would-be terrorists, such as libertarians and conservatives, will be prevented from using government sidewalks, crosswalks and running trails.

Schumer said, "I think Americans need to know that terrorists walk all the time and preventing them from doing this will dramatically help the War on Panic."